From Resentment to Relationship

You ever wonder why, all of a sudden, seemingly out of the blue, some one just stops talking to you or acting different. Or you may be in a relationship with someone who’s mad at you or have let go of the relationship with you and you have no real idea why. You scratch your head and wonder, ‘what the heck happened?”. To you, everything was good, there were no issues but it’s obvious that there was something wrong behind the scenes. It’s also obvious that the person hasn’t communicated it to you or you wouldn’t be feeling weird about whatever is going on. Well, first, the problem is miscommunication or no communication at all or, at least, honest communication.

There could possibly be a few scenarios but the main reason is that the person never told you what they were really feeling for a lengthy amount of time. In other words, while you thought everything was fine, they were harboring some feelings or concerns they never shared. The funny thing is, is that, they expected you to pick up on the clues of how they were feeling. They expected you to read their mind. Afterwhile, when you haven’t gotten the hints or got your crystal ball out to read their mind, they flip or react out of nowhere. They act out of anger as if you knew all along what is going on in their head. It’s called RESENTMENT!

Resentment is indignation or ill will felt as a result of a real or imagined grievance. Unfortunately, people who don’t communicate well still expect you to know what’s going on inside them. They feel entitled to your attention to what’s in their heart but they don’t open any doors for you to get there. There is a lot going on in a mind like this; fear, embarassment, imagined expectation, arrogance, entitlement, unresolved hurt and pain, etc. These people feel like ‘you owe me something’ but can never tell you what you owe them rather it’s an apology, time, or efforts. In actuality, they’ve been lieing by acting one way but really harboring ill feelings.

Resentment is not a good thing. That’s why it’s important to communicate. Communication doesn’t mean argument but it does mean ‘confront’. Resentment is anger! That’s the short of it. Life is not just about you. It’s about relationships, no matter what kind they are. Learn that not everyone can read your mind. Deal with your fears and unresolved pain. Otherwise, you will strain your relationships. There’s no need to be angry about something that may not even be true. It’s a waste of time. Open your heart, be vulnerable, and say what you feel. Be Happy! – May the Lord be with you!

What is Love?

What is love? And who ever said that love was easy? We look at the stories on television and in the movies and think that love is so easy to have and keep. We even approach life with this quick/easy type love that soon fades and evaporates as soon as it comes. The love we think we have, we only want it until it makes us work. But that’s not love. Love doesn’t even show up until a problem, trial, suffering, or trouble rears it’s ugly head. If you shrink back from it, you have no love. But if you plunge into it, then you are on your way. There are two types of love: the Delusional and Unconditional. LOL

Delusional love is basically placing a superficial perception on what you are experiencing and reacting to that perception as if it’s real. Then there is true love. True love is defined in the eyes of God. He defines true love as Love is long suffering, love is kind, it is not jealous, love does not boast, it is not inflated. It is not discourteous, it is not selfish, it is not irritable, it does not enumerate the evil. It does not rejoice over the wrong, but rejoices in the truth. It covers all things, it has faith for all things, it hopes in all things, it endures in all things. Love never falls in ruins. (1 Corinthians 13)

When we look at this, this kind of love, gives us anxiety. It means that we must work for the love in our lives. We may struggle but this is the most rewarding type of love to have. If it can not stand through the test of fire, then is it really love? The fire tests your character, heart, inner man, and spirit. How else can you let go of your own desires to care about the desires of others? Love wasn’t made to be comfortable. It is made to build you up as well as the people around you and how you all relate to one another for a greater change; a greater good. So if you want true love, you have to have armor because it’s gojng to be a rough ride. And if you don’t want true love then keep on doing what you’re doing but something will always be missing.

Love Quy