From Resentment to Relationship

You ever wonder why, all of a sudden, seemingly out of the blue, some one just stops talking to you or acting different. Or you may be in a relationship with someone who’s mad at you or have let go of the relationship with you and you have no real idea why. You scratch your head and wonder, ‘what the heck happened?”. To you, everything was good, there were no issues but it’s obvious that there was something wrong behind the scenes. It’s also obvious that the person hasn’t communicated it to you or you wouldn’t be feeling weird about whatever is going on. Well, first, the problem is miscommunication or no communication at all or, at least, honest communication.

There could possibly be a few scenarios but the main reason is that the person never told you what they were really feeling for a lengthy amount of time. In other words, while you thought everything was fine, they were harboring some feelings or concerns they never shared. The funny thing is, is that, they expected you to pick up on the clues of how they were feeling. They expected you to read their mind. Afterwhile, when you haven’t gotten the hints or got your crystal ball out to read their mind, they flip or react out of nowhere. They act out of anger as if you knew all along what is going on in their head. It’s called RESENTMENT!

Resentment is indignation or ill will felt as a result of a real or imagined grievance. Unfortunately, people who don’t communicate well still expect you to know what’s going on inside them. They feel entitled to your attention to what’s in their heart but they don’t open any doors for you to get there. There is a lot going on in a mind like this; fear, embarassment, imagined expectation, arrogance, entitlement, unresolved hurt and pain, etc. These people feel like ‘you owe me something’ but can never tell you what you owe them rather it’s an apology, time, or efforts. In actuality, they’ve been lieing by acting one way but really harboring ill feelings.

Resentment is not a good thing. That’s why it’s important to communicate. Communication doesn’t mean argument but it does mean ‘confront’. Resentment is anger! That’s the short of it. Life is not just about you. It’s about relationships, no matter what kind they are. Learn that not everyone can read your mind. Deal with your fears and unresolved pain. Otherwise, you will strain your relationships. There’s no need to be angry about something that may not even be true. It’s a waste of time. Open your heart, be vulnerable, and say what you feel. Be Happy! – May the Lord be with you!